FALLING INTO WINTER, OR AM I?

I began this (unpublished) post about two months ago with this:

The calendar still says it's fall but the mornings are feeling more
and more like winter. As I walk out the sand feels very cold

and that's it. For two months I haven't been motivated to finish that post.

Motivation is a funny thing. I've still been walking on the beach in the mornings at least once or twice a week, sometimes more. What I was starting to say above is that, as I walk barefoot in the soft, cold sand in the morning shade on the north side of the pier, as I make my way down to the water's edge I get what I call "foot headaches" because the cold really does kind of get in there and feels sharp like pins and needles and it's somewhat painful. Also, I kind of like it. It reminds me that I'm alive and it makes me look even more forward to and excited about the firmer sand at the water's edge and the warmer, soothing coldness of the water itself.

So I still walk, and although it's been much colder now in the mornings I still enjoy it very much. Actually, this past week we've had Santa Ana winds and 80 degree afternoons which has been pretty great. Living in Southern California really is wonderful. In the mornings I've walked the pier again a few times and I see that some of my morning friends have also made their way up there now. I've survived the stress and joys of Christmas and now I'm just relaxing at home with my son on winter break and eating way too many tamales and cookies. I'm ready to get back to eating less and walking more instead of the reverse.

I don't know if it's because of the change in the seasons or the changing seasons of my life, in fact I don't know why it is at all, but my thoughts have taken an unexpected turn lately. It's a good if not exactly sensible, mom-like direction but it's very real and I like it a lot, in much the same way that I like the cold morning sand, although I'm not expecting any firmer sand or soothing water ahead. I doubt I'll ever publish the draft I've been writing about it because it's really, really personal and some might say foolish and/or weird. Anyway, it's all about me and my past and my present and reveals the wild twenty year old who is still alive inside of me. Like, really alive.

'Mazing Monday!

(copied from Facebook status:) 2nd Monday in a row watching a gigantic seal look for fish in the waves just 15-20 feet offshore. Today he swam on pace with my walk for about 10 minutes & I saw him with an enormous fish in his mouth. AMAZING!!!

A Covina Fish in Paradise

I had an especially lovely, wonderful walk this morning. It was a super dense fog morning, not as thick as it was that day a few weeks ago, but the air was white and richly moist with very limited visibility and a gorgeous halo effect around the sun.

There were the usual birds: noisy seagulls, fidgety shorebirds with all their adorable fuzzy little baby chicks, and also some pelicans doing a delightful flyby over the ocean out just above where the waves begin to grow.

But the greatest treat of all this morning: two seals swimming and gorging on fish just 10 to 20 feet offshore. One of them was so close I seriously could have ran out and touched it and possibly not even gotten my shirt wet. It was rather high tide which means the sandy shoreline descends at a pretty quick slant into the ocean, hence the reason the seals were able to swim so close to the shore, and okay, maybe I would have gotten my shirt wet.

At first I had only seen one of them and I was afraid that it might be sick or in distress since it's so unusual to see a seal so up close like that. Paulina, a morning regular, jogged towards me & stopped for a moment to talk about the seals, which I now saw that there were two of them. She assured me that they were fine and said that they eat the Corvina fish (I thought she said Covina fish - I grew up in Covina LOL!) which eat the sand crabs and that's why they were so close to shore. It was like a seal buffet!

As usual, the beach was none too crowded (just how I like it!)and most of us who were there remarked to each other about the seals and shared our enjoyment of them and the beautiful foggy morning as we passed each other and then continued on alone on our peaceful, solitary walks.

Lastly, just to mention, a girl/woman/lady I often see who in my mind I refer to as Tracy Nelson (actress & daughter of Ricky Nelson) introduced herself as Stephanie, but I still prefer to think of her as Tracy Nelson. Is that bad?

Which Way the Wind Blows

Yesterday morning was cool and cloudy which made for a wonderful morning walk.

This morning was cool and sunny which made for a wonderful morning walk.

I really, really love walking on the beach in the morning.

For most of my life I always went to the beach in the hot sun of the afternoon, to hang out with friends, to party, to get tan. It's only been this last year that I realize that, except for one or two really awesome afternoons, I was doing it all wrong.

Being young I didn't care or believe that my skin would ever wrinkle. Sunblock? Hah! It always seemed stupid and unnecessary even though I always turned pink instead of brown & burned easily. It meant nothing to me, less than nothing. And now my skin is starting to wrinkle and I'm so far away from that careless young girl who made stupid choices sometimes and never thought about the future. I'm the result of that girl & I wish I could talk to her and give her a heads up, about life, about love, & about sunblock, even though she wouldn't listen or take it to heart.

Life after Labor Day weekend

Two weekends ago, two friends & I found ourselves out and about in Seal Beach on the sunny Sunday afternoon of Labor Day weekend. We had a great time hanging out and wandering through some of the shops on Main Street and took a walk out on the pier.

We looked like this:




and the beach looked like this:



which bummed me out & made me want to yell, "hey you kids get off of my beach." I kept in mind that in just a few short days everyone would be back doing their regular routine & I would be back doing mine, once again enjoying my morning walks on my lovely, quiet beach.

On the plus side, we saw a really cute guy on the pier:



So now it's two weeks later. My son is back in school & my mornings are free and are mine all mine. I've spent at least a half a dozen mornings back walking on the beach and collecting shells. Sometimes I walk the beach on both sides of the pier although I really do prefer the north side.

This morning there was a terrific fog with the sun trying to break through. It looked like this:



Something about the fog and the sun was so magical. It felt special to be there. I felt lucky. I felt good.

:)

Life, Death, and Trash

And then there's this, too.

It's probably about the fourth or fifth time I've seen this in the morning: seagulls eating a dead (I hope!) stingray for breakfast. I've even seen seagulls eating other dead seagulls. Nice. Or not so nice.

That's life. That's death. For some reason all the stupid trash on the beach bothers me much more than this ever does.

Catalina! Catalina!

She's blurry, but she's back!

:)

Carol Burnett was on the Tavis Smiley show last night talking about her daughter Carrie (who died too young - like in her 30's - from cancer). She said that even while sick in the hospital, her daughter kept a positive outlook because in spite of everything she had decided she was going to love her life. I kept her message in my heart & spirit during this morning's walk and I plan to keep it there as much as possible.

:)